The England team
Centre backs with as much pace
as my granddad listening to Gardener's Question Time
on his allotment.
A midfield that plods along
like a Des'ree song
wingers like tourists in central London
maps folded out
asking for directions
to Buckin Ham Palace.
A goalkeeper like Boris Johnson
trying to blow a vuvuzela
saying I'm sure there's a knack
wingers like waitresses wearing orthopaedic shoes
carrying a tray of very full champagne glasses
and a substitutes bench as appealing
as a rail replacement service.
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